Choosing an engagement ring together is the best solution! Explaining budget, how to give it, and when to go shopping

Engagement rings are often thought of as something that the person proposing goes shopping for secretly to create a surprise. However, recently, it seems that there has been an increase in cases where people go shopping together with their partner. We have compiled some points to keep in mind when going engagement ring shopping together, such as points to keep in mind, things to be careful about, budget, and how to give the ring.

Percentage of people who choose an engagement ring together with their partner

In multiple surveys about engagement rings conducted by bridal-related companies, around 3-6% of people answered that they "chose (or chose) together with their partner." While the numbers vary depending on the survey results, there is no doubt that "choosing an engagement ring together with your partner" is becoming more common.

【Reference】
Hanayume Web Survey (August 2017)
Survey on wedding rings for everyone - engagement rings
Zexy Marriage Trend Survey 2023
Zexy Marriage Trend Survey 2024

The benefits of choosing an engagement ring together with your partner

Some people may be reluctant to choose an engagement ring together with their partner, but there are actually two major benefits to choosing one as a surprise that you won't get.

Create a ring that perfectly suits your partner's needs

A common mistake in surprise engagement rings is that the partner is disappointed because the ring is completely different from what they had imagined. It's one thing if the proposal ends in failure, but there are also many cases where a mistake in choosing the ring leads to a breakup.

If you choose your engagement ring together, you can avoid making such a sad mistake. The time you spend choosing together, visiting multiple jewelry shops and trying on the ring to make sure it feels comfortable, will become a wonderful memory.

No risk of wrong size

When choosing a ring as a surprise, it's common to secretly check the size using a string while your partner is asleep, but it takes skill to measure accurately, and there are many cases where the size is wrong when you actually try it on. If you choose it together with your partner, you can find the perfect size, so there's no need to worry about comfort.

Disadvantages of choosing an engagement ring together with your partner

There are two main disadvantages to choosing an engagement ring together:

The sense of surprise disappears

For many people, the image of "proposal = surprise" is still deeply rooted. For those who think that secretly preparing a ring that perfectly suits their partner's taste is part of the proposal, the lack of the biggest surprise would be a major disadvantage.

I'm worried about the budget

Choosing a ring together means that the price is clearly known to your partner. Many people may feel embarrassed to tell their partner their budget in advance. It also seems that many partners feel uncomfortable honestly expressing their wishes when they are on a limited budget.

Surprising an engagement ring is likely to fail

According to an experiment conducted by Brilliant Plus, only two out of seven couples agreed on the design of the engagement ring they wanted and wanted. It's important to remember that even if you've spent a lot of time together, it's difficult to guess that "the other person will probably like this."

Reference

Experiment with 7 couples! How to choose an engagement ring that won't disappoint

Furthermore, the harsh reality is revealed from the honest thoughts of women who have actually received surprise proposals.

The ideal proposal situation that makes people happy is different for each person. Some people want their partner to prepare thoroughly without compromising on the sense of surprise and specialness, while others prefer a casual proposal in the middle of everyday life. Even if you normally like surprises, you may not be able to accept them if you are not feeling well mentally or physically.

The most important thing about planning a proposal is whether the other person feels that you respect their opinions and feelings, rather than making it a surprise. Remember that the key to a successful proposal is to plan it based on what the other person wants you to do, rather than what you want to do.

Engagement ring budget

Until recently, the standard price for an engagement ring was three months' salary, but recently the price range for a pair is between 200,000 and 400,000 yen. If you're using your salary as a guideline, it's best to think of it as roughly one to two months' salary.

However, the average price also varies depending on age and annual income. Compared to couples in their 20s, couples in their 30s and older, who tend to have more financial means, tend to spend more on engagement rings.

Also, when it comes to engagement rings, you should pay attention not only to the overall price, but also to the size (carat weight) of the diamond, its quality, clarity, and cutting method. Even for rings with the same design and material, the price can vary greatly depending on the quality of the diamond. It's important to comprehensively consider your ideal design, diamond size, and both of your financial values, and set a budget that's within your means.

Time to go shopping for an engagement ring

When choosing an engagement ring together, the most common time to go shopping is after the proposal. However, there are some unusual cases where couples choose the engagement ring together and then formally propose on a different day with a "box-opening" ceremony. It's a good idea to decide when to go shopping for an engagement ring by taking into consideration your partner's ideal proposal situation.

Tips to consider when choosing an engagement ring with your partner

When choosing an engagement ring with your partner, keep these three points in mind:

Make a reservation in advance

Once you have your eye on a store that interests you, don't forget to make a reservation. You can visit without a reservation, but making a reservation in advance will shorten your waiting time and increase the chances that they will prepare a ring that fits your budget.

Reservations tend to be concentrated during holidays, Christmas, and other event seasons, so we recommend avoiding busy dates or making reservations early.

Don't forget to choose together

Don't let your guard down just because your proposal was successful. Saying things like "It's fine" or "You can do whatever you want" may seem like you're respecting the other person's opinion, but it can also come across as saying "I don't care, I'm not interested."

Make sure you have basic knowledge in mind beforehand, such as the average budget for engagement rings and popular brands, and don't forget to be proactive and clearly express your own opinions when your partner asks for your thoughts.

It's also a good idea to check it out by yourself beforehand.

Even so, many people may think, "Even if someone asks me about jewelry, I don't know what to do." In that case, it's recommended that you go alone to the store where you plan to buy a ring and do some research. If you go alone, you can feel free to ask basic questions or discuss budgets, which would be difficult if your partner was next to you.

How to choose an engagement ring together

When choosing an engagement ring together, the proposal has usually already been made, so it is common to present it "on the spot." However, if you are planning to propose formally on a different date, you should be creative with the way you present it, just like with a surprise proposal. Popular ways and situations for presenting the ring include the following:

Avoid coming empty-handed on the day of your proposal

If you choose an engagement ring together, in most cases the ring won't be in your hands when you propose. However, that doesn't mean you should be empty-handed on the day of the proposal.

To increase the chances of a successful proposal, prepare a gift in lieu of an engagement ring. Popular proposal gifts other than an engagement ring include the following:

A proposal ring is a ring specifically designed for proposing with a "box-opening" ceremony. The price varies depending on the product, but since there is no need to be particular about the size or type of jewelry, you can probably get one for around 1 to 3 yen. This is a great product that will make your wish come true: "I want the proposal to be a surprise, but I want to choose the real engagement ring together."

However, some people are shocked when the ring they receive at the long-awaited moment of the proposal is a "toy-like temporary ring." If the couple has decided to make an engagement ring together later, it is safer to express your feelings with a different item rather than being particular about the shape of a "ring" when proposing.

You can also propose with just a diamond instead of an engagement ring!

Recently, gifting just a diamond to be set in a ring, rather than an engagement ring or proposal ring, has become very popular. Some stores that sell engagement rings and wedding rings allow you to purchase just the diamond, which has the great advantage of allowing you to choose the size and design of the ring you want and have it set in later.

If you're giving just a diamond as a gift, not only is it easy to propose by "opening the box," but you can also convey the message that "we'll go together to choose a ring to set the diamond in." If you can't compromise on either the feeling of surprise or your partner's wish for "the perfect ring," then you should definitely consider proposing with just a diamond.

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