[Etiquette & Example Sentences] How to Write a Reply Message to a Wedding Invitation

When you receive a wedding invitation, you need to reply by the deadline, indicating your intention to attend and writing a congratulatory message. Because weddings are formal celebrations, it is important to follow etiquette, such as how to write and when to reply. We will introduce basic writing rules and etiquette, as well as example messages for different recipients.

How to write and behave when replying to a wedding invitation

There are many rules and etiquette to be aware of when celebrating a wedding. Let's go through them one by one to make sure you don't make any mistakes.

Prepare a black brush pen or fountain pen

The following writing implements are recommended for use when replying to invitations:

If you are not good at writing with a brush, you can use a ballpoint pen, but in either case, make sure to choose black. Be careful, as light gray pens are used for funerals and other unfortunate occasions.

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Correct the "Line" and "To" on the front (address)

Use a ruler to neatly cross out the "行" and "遠" (to) that are pre-written in the address field of the reply postcard, and correct them to "様." If the address is for both the bride and groom, add "様" to each of them.

Erase "Go" (the honorific given to you) on the back

Circle either "attend" or "abstain," and cross out the first "御" and the option you did not choose. If you choose to attend, it will be more polite to write "I will be happy" or "I will do it" before and after.

Don't forget to cross out the "Go" and "Goyo" characters in the address and name. If there is no message box, write your congratulatory message in the empty space.

Do not use punctuation

Punctuation marks are the commas "," and periods used to separate sentences. Normally, using them in moderation makes the message easier to read, but in wedding congratulation messages, it is considered good manners not to use them because they suggest a "break (in a relationship)" or "end."

That being said, you might find it hard to read without punctuation, so try using spaces or line breaks instead.

Incidentally, opinions differ on whether symbols such as "!" (exclamation mark), "♡ (heart)" and "♪ (musical note)" are bad manners. However, when speaking with a close friend or colleague, it seems that symbols are often used as a sign of familiarity.

For specific examples, see the latter half of theReply message examples .

Avoid taboo words and repeated words

"Taboo words" are words that are considered unlucky in ceremonial occasions. "Kasanekotoba" are words that use the same word repeatedly, which is considered inappropriate for wedding celebrations because it evokes the idea of "remarriage." Be careful not to use the following words in your congratulatory messages.

Allergy information and alcohol availability

If you don't have any particular allergies, it's better to write "I don't have any particular allergies" rather than leaving it blank. If you do have allergies, be sure to write them down, even if they are only mild.

Food allergies can worsen depending on your physical condition on that day. In the worst case scenario, they can be life-threatening, so it's important to be honest and not shy about listing your allergies. Since alcohol is commonly served with meals, you can also list alcohol in the allergy section.

Also, be careful not to write about likes and dislikes in the allergy section. If you try to take into account the likes and dislikes of each guest, the menu will be inconsistent and the venue may not be able to accommodate them all. Unlike allergies, this is not a life-threatening issue, so it is bad manners to list personal likes and dislikes when there are many guests.

Most wedding meals are course meals, and many people end up leaving food they can't finish, regardless of whether they like it or not. The bride and groom are generally not informed of who has left what, so if there is a dish they just can't eat, ask a nearby staff member to clear the dishes.

What to write when there is no allergy section

Depending on the format of the invitation, there may not be a section for allergies. In that case, you can write it in the empty space on the invitation. If there is not enough space on the postcard, you can write it in a separate letter or email in addition to the reply postcard.

When to respond to an invitation

Wedding invitations have a deadline for replying, so whether you are attending or not, be sure to reply by the deadline.

If you attend, it is generally within 2-3 days

If you are determined to attend, the general rule is to reply within 2-3 days of receiving the invitation. At the latest, you should send a reply postcard within a week. If you are going to miss the deadline due to scheduling issues, it would be kind to send a message by email or phone.

If you are absent, please wait about a week before replying.

Even if you are sure you will not be attending, it is bad manners to reply to the invitation immediately after receiving it. To convey that you "made an effort to make arrangements," it is better to wait about a week before replying immediately.

If the reply deadline has passed

If you are unable to reply within the deadline, as soon as you realize it, apologize to the bride and groom by email or phone and send them a reply postcard. Don't forget to include a word of apology such as "I'm sorry for the late reply" along with your congratulatory message.

What to do if you make a mistake or typo

If you accidentally type a punctuation mark or make a mistake in a kanji character, correct it by drawing a double line through it, just as you would when erasing the characters "行" or "御." Please note that using correction fluid or tape is bad manners.

If there is a large stain or dirt that cannot be fixed, or if the postcard has been folded or torn, we recommend that you prepare a new postcard yourself.

Write it in the same layout as the original reply postcard as much as possible, and attach a "celebratory stamp" used for auspicious occasions to give it a polite impression.

To avoid surprising the bride and groom when they receive the substitute postcard, add something like, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but due to a mistake, we are using this reply postcard instead of the original." at the end of your congratulatory message.

[By recipient] Sample invitation reply messages

From here on, we will introduce example messages for the invitation message section, depending on your relationship with the recipient.

In case of attendance

If you are attending, it would be a good idea to include words that convey your excitement for the wedding day and your hopes that the bride and groom will enjoy lasting happiness.

Classic and simple

To my dear friend,

To siblings and relatives

To senior colleagues and superiors at work

To junior colleagues and subordinates

In case of absence

If you are unable to attend, include a message of congratulations along with a word of apology. If the reason is positive, such as your own pregnancy or a family member's wedding, it's fine to state it clearly, but if the reason is negative, it's considered good manners to avoid stating it explicitly.

Classic and simple

To my dear friend,

Absence for positive reasons

Be sure to follow proper etiquette when expressing your congratulations!

"Observing proper etiquette" is essential to conveying your congratulations. Be sure to follow proper etiquette regarding the timing and writing style of your reply, and celebrate the bride and groom's special day!

"PR"